


Gobstones, Broomsticks, and Ancient Runes

by mysid



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts, M/M, Marauders' Era, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-09
Updated: 2017-02-09
Packaged: 2018-09-23 03:05:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9638261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysid/pseuds/mysid
Summary: Remus's friends are distracting him from studying with a stupid competition, but Remus knows how to end the competition.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Penis Game](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9487991) by [Geoff_Ramseys_Moustache](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Geoff_Ramseys_Moustache/pseuds/Geoff_Ramseys_Moustache). 



> This fic was inspired when I read "The Penis Game". The title and summary made me imagine something like this happening.

**Gobstones, Broomsticks, and Ancient Runes**

As much as Remus loved his friends, he didn’t always want their company.  His friends didn’t seem to understand the concept of wanting to be alone, and assumed that Remus craved their company as much as they craved each other’s.  

Remus supposed it made sense with Sirius.  They really shouldn’t have been at all surprised when his animal form was found to be a dog. Dogs were slavishly devoted to their people, wanting always to be with them, and they’d watched Sirius trot along at James’s heels for years.  And as for James, well, deer traveled in herds, didn’t they?  Of course, it didn’t explain why Peter was always present wherever the others went--or why Remus occasionally needed a break from the noise and mayhem.

For example, _now_ would be an excellent time for a bit of peace and quiet. Remus really needed to concentrate if he didn’t want to completely bollocks up this Ancient Runes translation, and he didn’t want to go to the library.  His knee was still wonky from the full moon the night before last, and it felt achy from walking all over the castle and grounds for classes today.  The walk to the library, and back, seemed just too far.  He could go to the Common Room, but it wasn’t particularly quiet this evening, and probably wouldn’t be for another hour or so. 

What he really wanted was to be able to work in the peace and quiet of his own dormitory, but his dormitory was anything but peaceful and quiet.  For some reason, James and Sirius had thought that inviting the Gryffindor quidditch team into the dorm to discuss strategies, and stats, and favorite breakfast foods--Remus still wasn’t sure how that had entered the conversation--would be a good way to “keep Remus company” while he did his work.  He did know that the conversation had apparently required the necessity of charming objects to fly around the room modeling potential quidditch formations.   Remus had closed his bed curtains to end being attacked by rogue gobstone “bludgers”. 

And now that Jane Wordsmith and Destiny Brown had left the room, the conversation had become even stranger.  One of the seventh years--Remus wasn’t sure if it was Willaston or McElroy--had proposed “the penis game”.  Whoever had the biggest knob won.  

Amid much laughter and teasing, the boys were discussing if “biggest” simply meant longest or if girth could be factored in.  Snickering and laughter had accompanied the merits of “shower” versus “grower” and the activity necessary to bring those in the latter category into hopes of winning the competition.

Remus hid his face in one of his open textbooks, and stifled a groan of dismay lest it be misconstrued as a quite different sort of moan.  Given that he knew Sirius was wanking lazily on just the other side of his bed curtains, it almost _was_ a quite different sort of moan.  He thought this was quite possibly the gayest thing to ever happen in his dormitory, and that was ironic given that, as far as he knew, he was the only one in the room who was indeed gay.  

When someone--Willaston? McElroy?--suggested bringing their dorm mates into the competition as well, Remus had had enough.  There was one sure way to end this stupid competition. 

“For fuck’s sake,” Remus growled with exasperation as he threw open his bed curtains and narrowly missed stomping on Sirius’s free hand as he angrily climbed off the mattress.  He’d already shed his robes earlier, so it was the work of a moment to unfasten his trousers and to yank both them and his pants down to mid-thigh. He was a “grower”, but his role as unwilling voyeur had taken care of that issue without any other necessary effort.  

“Shit,” one of the seventh years muttered.  “Wow.”

“Holy hell, Remus,” James said.  “You keep a broomstick in your pants!” Peter giggled, but Sirius was strangely silent. 

“I won.  Everyone happy now?  Can you all bugger off and let me revise in peace?”

As Remus looked down to set his clothes back to rights, he caught a glimpse of Sirius looking up at him, eyes wide with surprise, and one hand still wrapped around his own cock. 

Remus climbed back onto his bed and reopened a textbook large enough to hide behind.  He didn’t watch as he heard them getting to their feet, the rustling of clothes being set right, and _finally_ footsteps toward the door.  Peter kept breaking into giggles and murmuring, “Broomstick,” and “Good one, James.”  

Remus suspected he would face quite a bit of teasing in the coming months, but for now, he had an Ancient Runes passage to finish translating--and thoughts of a pretty pink cock head peeking out from the encircling grasp of Sirius's long fingers to try to forget.

\-- _written February 2017_


End file.
